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Xangles Blorkk: Mulg - depth 1

Urgg Adults
Urgg Kids

    Pass the orange mulg please.
    So, how's the invasion of Earth going, dear?
    Yah what's the whole point of that anyway, Dad, the teachers at school won't tell us.

    Blurka, Choggig, I've told you a thousand times, I detest discussing interplanetary invasion at the dinner table.  We'll talk later.
    Mother, could you pass the green mulg?
    We were only trying to be inquisitive.  Please pass the blue mulg, Niglooc.
    Well, quite frankly Margly, i'm getting sick of your inquisitivity.  And sick of you using it as an excuse.
    But Furgy, I was only trying to be apologetic.
    Father, could you pass the brick red mulg?
    I'm brickredimulgaphobic son.
    Oh, right, I forgot.  Mother, could you pass it?
    Pass what?
    What I just asked father to pass.
    And what was that?
    I forget, but I know I wanted it.  I know it started with an 'm'...
    Mulg?
    Yes, that was it!  Could I have mulg?
    What color?
    Uh, hot pink, I suppose.
    That flarng ate the last of it.
    But I want pink mulg.
    Look here, just have some more purple mulg.
    And frankly margly, I'm getting sick of your apologeticity.
    Mother pass the thermostat mulg.
    I don't think that's a word, hon.
    Thermostat?
    No, apologeticity.
    I didn't say apologeticity.
    No, your father did.
    Then why did you--
    Just eat your thermostat, son.
    If it isn't a word, it durg well should be.
    Please pass the green forest mulg.
    Could you pass the purple mulg?
    Pass the orange-speckled mulg, Norgug.
    Mommy, I don't like this food.
    Just eat your mulg, Keelky.
    But I want yellow mulg, why can't we have yellow mulg?
    Keelky, when I was your age we didn't have any yellow mulg, or hot pink mulg, all we had was mulg. Just plain mulg.  Oh, how I remember, every day we'd all wait by the padulor late afternoon to greet father as he came home with the mulg.  Just plain mulg.  none of this orange-speckled-polka-dotted-bikini-mulg.  Oh, i'll never forget what ol' grandaddy used to say, he would say: "Mulg Mulg Mulg!  Why do we have to eat so much gods damned mulg!"
    No, Kyle only hallucinated that frwoa frangle in a bad nightmare.
    Gringle, where did that come from?
    What?
    You just said something about Kyle Kirby; it was totally non-sequiter.  Where'd that come from?
    I don't know really, it was like a sort of echo riffing through my mind.  Like a bunch of other people were saying the same thing, and I felt compelled by peer pressure to join in.
    G.I. Joe!
    What?
    Nothing.  Another riff echo.
    Just keep those to yourself.
    Unless you find some winning lottery numbers floating around the Fractal.
    Well of course not then.
    Gringle, pass the cyan mulg.
    Could someone pass some more invisible mulg?
    Who said that?
    Father, pass the flashing mulg, please.
    I want to know who said that.
    Mother, there's a krforb in my mulg.
    Just eat it, dear.
    But the kfrorb's talking to me, mother.  it's saying...  Wait, I think it's in Spanglish...  No... Elvish... Klingon?  Ah!  Franglish!
    Um, mother, father, I have an announcement to make.
    Well, what is it Splurg?
    I'm bisexual.
    Son, if anyone at the table didn't figure that out tonight from the hot pink mulg alone, they need a couple int-fluton boosters.  Anyway, no one's perfect.  It's nothing to be ashamed about.  It just means you'll be more confused in life than the rest of us.  It's nothing fatal or anything.
    Mother, pass the laminated mulg please.
    I'm also a Xanglian Buddhist Republican.
    Like I said, no one's perfect.
    I like Macintoshes.
    Like I said.
    The Earth computers.
    Like I-- Like I said.
    I'm becoming a Vegan.
    Like I--
    I mean, a flutonian Vegan.
    Like--
    A vegan fracologist actually.
    Choggig, can you pass the mustard.
    Oh, and I'm starting a scratch and sniff lich roleplaying game, except I think we could use another sense, like scratch and hear, or something, but we can't figure out what.
    Lik--
    And I've been studying the application of Earth's Simon and Garfunkle lyrics to "The Sound of Silence" at night before I go to sleep.
    Li--
    And am starting to like the Earth logical symbol for 'not' in applcation to right-angle geomefralogica except I think I like it rotated 180 degrees.  In fact the most fascinating concept in that area is that of the self-sustained square, or half-square, some call it.
    L.
    Mother, pass the forest-green mulg.
    And I just had my first period.  Kind of strange for a male but not too uncommon considering the bisexuality.  Anyway a period's the whole point of life really.  It made me think, if I was a period, I would be like a single dot in the entire connect-the-dot fractal...
    .
    And I'm getting good grades in grammar.  And I'm excelling in the phylo theory of nothingness.  Especially the part where something that turns to nothing usually begins inverting, which is sort of infathomable to us of course.  Sort of like when the last level of Pac Man on old Earth was beaten and the whole game went schizo 'cause no one had expected the memory to exceed 256 flutonegs, or terrabytes, or something.
    !%$_I_am_error
    Father, what the hell's wrong with you?  You're inverting to some kind of digital krforb code traffic.
    IFugrav_const=7.3openGiraffatekica77billavik250135330090180--
    I'm also the key founder of a de-centralized underground terrorist organization resposible for multiple acts of mass destruction and extensive treaty violation involving many of our closest allies...
    Shame on you, child, I've always told you to centralize your crazy terrorist cults.  Keelky, pass the green mulg.
    Sorry, father.
    Dear, could you--
    I'm also black.
    No you aren't, you're green.
    Oh, so I am!  I could have sworn--
    Mother could you pass the seven-dimensional temporal transwarp thermodynamic giraffamulg?
    Father, pass the rainbow mulg?
    Leave the rest for Splurg, he's gay now.
    I'm bi.
    I know a flarg that's quadsexual.  The flarg have seventeen genders.
    What?  How the hell do they--
    Don't ask him that.  He'll tell you.  It's very, very complex.  Lots of permutations.
 
    G.I. Joe!
    What?

    What's a permu-- nevermind.
    No, I'm the only Buddhist here.
    Hey, what's the plate for?
    The cheesecake... no wait, the mulg.
    You can't quote an obscure high school television production video which only about three people on Earth will get if this were some book on Earth.
    Maybe it isn't.
    That's actually pretty likely, considering that's just one frangle out of evey possible frangle.  It's like, infinitely minus infinitesimally likely.  That seems 100% but it's really not...
    You've been studying fracolics too much.
    See the proof goes, if you were to hold a fractal-wide lottery and pick one soul out of the infinite beings there are--
    --someone would have to win.  So if you were that person, you'd never believe it, because you'd basically think the chance was zero.  But since someone must win, then a one in infinity chance doesn't equate to zero.  See?
    You've been drinking with Gunkwub too much.  How many Earth drinks have you tried by now anyway?
    Well, we graffimported some Goldschlogger... SKYY, Skynet...
    Mother, could you pass the mulg a la mode...
    Son, pass the mulg.
    Wha-- Which one, father?
    Uhhh... that one.
    This one?
    No, that one.
    Blueberry Smirnoff... Smurf Smirnoff...
    This one?
    Nope.  Riiiiight there.
    That octalaser pointer isn't helping, Dad.  Use your grumple.
    There.
    Here?
    No, there.
    Mother, could you pass the webcam-flavored mulg?
    Urgg, Earth, Flarg, or Kroffonian webcam?
    Uh, Flarg...  No wait, Kroffonian.
    Too late.
    Damnit.
    After after Shock--  Kyllalalua--
    Father, pass the blue mulg.
    I've told you a thousand times, Keelky, I'm colorblind.
    Oh I forgot.  Mother, could you pass it?
    Pass what?
    W
hat I just asked father to pass.
    And what was that?
    I forget, but I know I wanted it.  I think it started with an 'm'...
    Mother, could you pass the-- thg-- tnghh!--
    Oh my God Chogig's choking!
    Wine-- and-- beer!
    Wow, you are gay.  Except for the beer I guess.
    How do you know Chogig's choking?  He kinda looks like he's having an orgasm or something.          Choggig!
    He's dead--
    After six lines of dialogue?  That doesn't seem possible.  Doesn't take a certain amount of time to suffocate?
    It was the grape mulg... it was poisoned.
    I mean did you even check him or are you just guessing?
    What are we going to do?
    This must be Gurglop's work.  I should call Tofeg...
    Even with a freak level six temporal anomoly, I just don't think it's possible to choke to death in six lines of dialogue.  And how the hell can you tell it was poisoned from looking at it?  You're guessing about that too, aren't you?
    If it was an orgasm, how did-- how did he...
    What?
    You know.
    Oh, well he wasn't exactly keeping both grumples on the table like the rest of us.
    What's an orgasm?
    Hon, throw all this mulg in the fridge, I have to make some calls immediately, this is serious.
    What about the grape mulg?
    Well obviously not the grape mulg... You'll pay for this, Gurglop, you'll pay for the death of my son.  You'll pay.  You'll pay.
    I still think it was an orgasm.
    Oh, shut your grumple.
    What's a grumple?
    Are you kidding?  It's... you're kidding, right?  Alright, just... no.  Look, where-- where the hell did you get-- would you hold still?  Alright, there, look.  See?
    Great Urgg!  I never noticed I had one of those!  That explains so much!
    Still think you're bi?

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