Xangles: Blorkk: Area 51: First Contact with Nonlinear Skit-prose
Xan 2: Blorkk 51: Area51-0
>>> Wait, how does this guy know it's the first nonlinear skit-prose ever written? What has he, travelled back in time and searched every single person's house in human history to see if anybody ever wrote anything like this? Even then, what if they used some alien cloaking device to hide it? What if they shoved it in some other dimension until the idiots left and yanked it back out again? And what about the dinosaurs? We don't know how intellient they were. Maybe they were completely literate. Maybe they were so smarth they replicated a bunch of bones and teleported them underground to avoid time traveling archeologists invading their territories' privacy looking for evidence of prehistoric Jurassic Park skit-prose. >>> Why would they make a Jurassic Park in the Jurassic era? Wouldn't that be redundant? Anyway, maybe the story is about a parallel Earth in which his premise is true? Assuming you're right and we're not currently living in the scenario in which a dinosaur scribbled a nonlinear rock poem somewhere. >>> Touche. >>> Would you guys shut up? The introduction is about to start. This is like really really really really important. >>> I beg to differ, but Whatever.
On most Earth internet browsers you can increase & decrease your text size. In firefox this is ctrl-[plus] and ctrl-[minus]. Switching around (preferably with shortcuts) back and fourth between different font sizes is highly recommended with the unusual Blorkk skit-prose medium, especially at depths will tons of stuff going on. Obviously being very familiar with lower depths will lessen confusion as well (like knowing Monty Python and the Holy Grail word for word, because it's worth it, IOHO).
Xangles & Blorkk integrate much original language. The biggies are in the Blorkk Index of Terms and Xangles Index of Terms
depth 1- Area 51 (white verdana, no prefix)
depth 2- Psst, Bob (brown/yellow verdana, no prefix)
depth 3- Commentary comments (dark green verdana, no prefix)
depth 4- .Pik & Orbo (.pale dark blue verdana, period prefix)
depth 5- :Tit & Tag (:oh shit, I blinked us into the font desc. Quick, hand me--)
depth 6 - -Tonight's movie (verdana lavender-ish, hyphen prefix)
depth 7- =Kim and Danny [page 1]
depth 8- <uploading...>
depth 9- <uploading...>
depth 10- #xbaccess comments (solid red courier new, pound prefix)
Area 51 Intro: May, 2009
Oh, hey. Is it time for the very first Area 51 intro again? Okay, well, you might have noticed that the Blorkk xnet page (for you Earthers, that's like a really really really big multi-galactic internet on crack) falls severely short of the 77.8 quintiquadrilion terabytes of information that had accumulated for a few bilennia here. There are even a couple planets that are just tuning in this year, so if you've never been here before you're a very lucky person not to have to deal with watching the site upload for three bilennia before you get to see anything new. It may seem a little confusing at first, but that's just because you're limited human minds can't handle the nonlinear art of our known universe (Blorkk). Since things work differently in an entire nother ku (a Known Universe)--not just physics and science but life and philosophy and art--it'll take a little time get used to if you're new at it, like watching Memento or Wild Things any less than five dozen times before you understand what the hell is going on. But don't be scared away; we assure you that whole damn thing as a whole makes perfect sense.
...At least if you're schizophrenic.
The first major skit-prose xwoa being re-uploaded is Area 51. It's a historical documentary about Earth's real life Area 51 and their first contact with alien life (from their xangle anyway), rendered in a humorous way as to be entertainment and eschew the herds of conspiracy theorists that would take it seriously otherwise and ruin the Urgg's plans to take over and/or destroy Earth. (A mission that's finally achieved right around your time period. Sucks to be an Earth human in the year 2051) . The xwoa medium (skit-prose, or "skip")--which is a mix of Monty Python, Nancy Millstone Jennings, and a seven year-old's attempt to fail a sophomore English major's final exam if you haven't already figured that out ten times over by now--takes place over the course of 51 skip depths, which means one scene is interlinked with another, with another, and so on. One incident might be caused by a group of time traveling areas from one xangle, and from another, some kid in a bio-lab who mixed the wrong chemicals together. In it's complete entirety, it's a perfect, bafflingly symmetric whole, that's worth the brain mangling confusion to eventually figure the whole thing out.
...At least if you're schizophrenic.
It's probably best to just randomly click around a thousand times until the whole thing makes sense, but if you're bent on confusing your linear plot minds, you can just as easily start at depth 1 and read forward, because this is roughly the order the skits were written in (at least from a completely fictional xangle we're just throwing at you to avoid more confusion that we hope you'll buy and not smush your brains out before you even begin reading). The depths are distinguished in many ways, utilizing colors, fonts, sizes, indentation, formatting, prefix symbols, and most importantly, context--among other things--to make things as clear and understandable as possible. Simultaneously, the depths are meant to be purposely self-interlinked so that the reader might read a scene one way then think of it a whole different way later. This is like watching the Matrix dissolve back and forth between Donnie Darko, Seinfeld, Alien vs Predator, and "Dude, where's my car." Or perhaps watching all five being broadcast simultaneously on cable and flicking around at random, but where by some freak of nature, every single line of dialogue synchs up with all the other lines (obviously the example isn't perfect since that would require completely re-writing those entire xwoas, but you get the point).
If you follow the story at time goes on, you may notice a few edits awhile after a depth has been written, or very rarely, a few major modifications. Since a single word can have enormous effect on many other depths (just like a tiny spec of a fractal can contain the entire infinite vast bigger fractal it's a part of), the only perfect way to write fractal prose is to write the whole damn thing before publishing a single word. Since all the Xangles sagas somewhat interconnect, not to mention each individual saga being intrinsically self-intertwined, the only perfect way to write any of it would be to take a couple decades and finish the entire freaking thing before publishing any of it. Most of the Xangles, Frangles, & Blorkk writing takes an enormous amount of simultaneous writing. When a dozen things are not written at the exact same time (which they usually are), then there's at least an idea of what plot holes to leave to later fill in and fake the later claim that you intended it all along (like four of the main Battlestar characters being cylons out of !@#$ing nowhere for god's sake). So, if you notice something different, just consider it a really freaky level-51 temporal anomaly, have a good confused cry that your favorite character was not only vaporized in the progression of the story, but removed from space-time entirely by never existing in the first place--and get on with your lame linear life.
Then again, the skit-prose anomalies might even happen on purpose if a xiter intentionally writes in a krforb or fictional xiter hitting a really really really [not-so] important wrong button somewhere. So it might be best to check back frequently in case you miss something entirely and it isn't up long enough for the all-recording eye-of-sauron internet archive to catch it in time. Because we all know how often a sudden u.f.o. sighting or alien visit to Earth results in a air baloon story cover up.
>>> Hey, Tom, you awake? You didn't make one sarcastic joke through this whole thing. Are you sick or drunk or something? I actually got to xip it in peace without--Oh my god. Somebody call an ambulance, Tom's not breathing. SOMEBODY CALL 911! Wait. OK, he's just sleeping. What the hell did meds did you take this morning? You... you didn't take the blue pills, did you? Oh dear. Ohhh dear.
Okay, I got one off... <<