kimflo

kro
earBKgen
flu
pik
zer




Xangles 9: Blorkk
Pre-pre-prologue, Earth outernet prose frwoa   

   9   9.101   9.91   9.92   9.44    <<

     Okay, everyone!  It's time for Xangles 9.
    We've all heard that one before.
    No, really!  This is it!  I swear!
    You guys are just creating pressure in the vain hopes that it will motivate you to improvise some stand-up comedy so funny that it'll warrant calling it an entire Xangles frwoa.
    Yah, remember what happened the last eight times.
    No, really!  This is it!
    Yah, I remember.  The first host got lynched, the second guy got smooshed in a silent mosh pit the audience started just to smoosh him because the first crowd got thrown in jail, the third got mauled by a passing meta-stampede of hyperbuffakalo who recognized that he was ripping off his entire stand up routine from one of their sun-gods; the fourth through sixth got lynched, smooshed, then stampeded, and I was there when we threw the seventh in the Python-Bride gorge of eternal copyright despair; the most ironic and gruesome thing we could think to do to a xiter.  The eighth--if you've already forgotten--got mauled by even worse: the lawsuit itself, for allowing his buddy to be thrown in it in the first place by perfoming a stand up routine about an X9 xiter who gets thrown into the Python-Bride gorge of eternal copyright despair: the most creative story he could think to tell.
    I remember that.  They both had this look in their eyes, like they almost expected their respective endings, but believed that their deaths would glorify their personal frwoas to the point of being worthy of the title "Xangles 9: The Xiters Who Dared To Die For It."  Instead, the Okuaka-Blorkk frwoa alliance started a new interkuic un-awards ceremony just to create the award of "Best New Brain-Dead Attempt At Xiting Xangles 9: The Xiters Who Died For This Award.'"
    It's so monotonous at this point that our current complaining alone could probably serve as a better Xangles 9 frwoa fragment than any of you xiters have ever even attempted.
    You hit it right on!
    What?
    Xangles 9 is going to be entirely your commentary about our past failures.  You, the audience, can say anything you like about Xangles for the next nine hours, and insult us in anyway that doesn't involve murder, mutiny, assasination, or homicide, and we'll post the entire fracking thing on Blorkk.com tomorrow morning.
    But why?
    First answer me, is ours a story worth telling?
    No.
    Definitely not.
    In fact it's probably the lamest story anyone anywhere could ever tell.
    Ah!  But there you have it.  The lamest story anyone could ever tell is the most potential- saturated story to record a completely ticked off commentary about!
    You're joking, right?
    Nope.  You're it.  You're all Xangles 9.
    Seriously?
    Seriously.
    Seriously?
    Seriously!  To prove we're genuine about this, I'll already let you in on the most key plot twist of the entire frwoa: we contrived all the events to date--faked horrible improv, ticked you all off eight times, and sacrificed the first eight hosts who willingly gave their lives for this cause--just to prepare for the next nine hours.  Your comments on our failures will be the greatest Xangles frwoa ever written since the last one.
    That... has to be the most idiotic--
    --cheapsgate sell-out cover up for an--
    --uncreative brain-dead un-innovative--
    --left-wing liberal gay-rights saturated--
    --right-wing republican-butt-kissing family rights oriented--
    --communist negative utilitarian exisentialist--
    --moronically-metaphysical--
    --scruffy-looking-infringing--
    --PUKE-green--
    --MUSH-brained--
    --EXCUSE FOR A LAME SKIT-PROSE FRWOA--
    --EVER EVEN SUGGESTED IN THE HISTORY OF ALL THE KNOWN UNIVI ANYBODY HAS EVER KNOWN ABOUT--
    --EVER.
    Welcome to Xangles 9.

   9   9.101   9.91   9.92   9.44    <<